Create a Support Team
A crisis has fallen into your lap, and you wonder what the hell do I do now. Our issue was Stephanie's cancer, but yours is probably something different. It doesn’t matter because the result is the same. Your world is spinning out of control, and you're in shock. You become overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. It’s your life under attack, and that’s very personal.
The crisis can make you feel like you're alone in the world. No one understands, and you're scared to death. Sorry, wrong choice of words. Let’s try to think of the crisis as a big bully about to beat you up. Your mind is racing, and you don't know what to do. Then some friends stand up beside you to help, tell you it’s going to be okay, and everything changes. That's a great example of what a support team can do for you.
When your friends and family reach out to help it sounds like this. How are you doing? I feel terrible this is happening to you. What can I do? How can I help? A friend of mine experienced the loss of a child and gave me some great advice. People show their love and concern in different ways. Some jump in and help, but others don’t feel comfortable doing that. They might bring food or send money or pray for us. There are no rules. Take everything that anyone wants to give to you. Take in their love and concern. It's a gift from their hearts. Over time they will call less and move back to their own lives. It's a normal process. Soak up their love now, for a time in the future when you need it.
If you are parenting through a crisis, a support team helps a lot. A team has more hands, ideas, and strength. ‘We’ are fighting is so much stronger than ‘I’ am fighting. Fill your team with people you love, trust, and can count on. Steph’s team consisted of her husband Mark, her mother Colleen, her newborn, and me, her dad. Sometimes the baby was the most crucial member of the team, but more about that later.
Our team made a pact with Stephanie the day her cancer was diagnosed. We would join her for every appointment and procedure; she would never face anything alone. We would get her the best medical care we could find. Then we made a bold statement. We promised Steph that together we would find a way to beat this thing. That night was a turning point for our family. Now there were some smiles along with the tears. We believed our promise, but how could we deliver? We had to put together a plan. That is the subject of my next blog.
Thank you for reading. Please forward this to others who may enjoy it. I welcome any questions, suggestions, or comments. Your feedback is appreciated and encouraged.
See you at my next post!