Michael Schnabel

I think of myself as an emotionally balanced person, but occasionally things happen that cause my emotions to overcome logic. It’s a safe bet that this has also happened to you. Someone wronged you. How you react may depend on the person who did it, the extent of the damage, or the frequency it has happened. We might be able to move on and not deal with the person or situation ever again. Short-term memory lets it fade away. Other times it sits and festers with growing anger, pain, and plots to get even with your offender. Our emotions build the issue into something bigger than it is, allowing us to become a victim.  

The issue moves from something that happened to us, to stress and frustration racing around our minds. We are in a bad mood, which can impact everyone around us. Our reactions can harm our mental and physical health, leading to depression, anxiety, and high blood pressure. In a moment of clarity, we search for better options. One option is forgiveness. 

Forgiveness begins when we decide to clean the slate and start over fresh. Stop letting the issue control your life. It doesn't mean we pretend it didn't happen or condone their actions. It means we decide to let it go and release the bitterness and retaliation associated with it. How do we start letting go?

Look at the situation and person doing the wrong without emotion and determine what motivated them to do it. Understanding why they did it may help you put things into perspective. Their situation may blind them to the things they do to others. Write down how you feel and see how these emotions impact your happiness. Talk to friends you trust that may be able to help you release your negative emotions and clear your mind. If this is someone you want to keep in your life, talk to them, and explain how you feel about what they did. Forgive them with love in your heart. 

Forgiving others helps us grow our souls through a loving act. By expressing our forgiveness, we continue the healing. Look for anything positive learned through this experience. It may help us deal with the next situation better or to release it quicker. Strive to do better in the future by practicing patience instead of reacting. Seek understanding to uncover the facts instead of just labeling things with opinion. Accept the situation the way it is and make the best of it.

By remembering our mistakes, we understand how easy it is to hurt others. Most of us have carried around baggage from times we acted out and hurt others. It's also time to forgive yourself. Acknowledge what you did and make reparations where you can. Let go of the past and live in the now. Try to learn your lessons through love and forgiveness.

Most incidents are small enough that we can deal with ourselves. Other times the event may cause extreme harm, suffering, or injury. In that case, seek out advice from experts to help you.